My Online Journal

I’m always amazed by the sunset in the seaside. For me, it is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life.  If ever I am going to die, how I wish I could be the sunset in the dusk and the sunrise in the dawn, so my family will never miss me and they will always remember me.

Leukemia has already weakened my body. Upon hearing this news, I immediately resigned from work and made a bucket list. It contains the ten things I want to do before I die and I’m almost finished. But there is one more left to do. I want to see the sunset together with my first love. But there is one problem; he is already married to my best friend who despises me because of a mistake her husband and I made when we were in college.

They almost broke up because of me, but they patched things up left the country. Now they are leaving together with their two kids. But I’m still in love with her husband. I never told them that I was diagnosed with cancer. Maybe they will never recognize me because my body became bloated because of the chemicals they injected in me. And I’m always wearing plus size gowns which I never did when I was still sexy and petite.  All I want is just one moment to be with him, but I don’t know how.

At last! My treatment therapy is finished; the doctor said it was a miracle; there are no signs abnormal white blood cell production in my body. The best part is, I going to start work in a plus size gowns store plus next week.  Oh, I can’t wait to meet new friends at work. I think it is going to be great, after months of pain and chemo-therapy. My second life starts at this very moment.

Also, my best friend Deny is going to have a baby. She is 2 months pregnant now. And I am going to be the godmother. I talked to her husband (who is also my ex) and he assured me that he will never hurt Deny. And now they are working to make their relationship stronger.

I’m happy for both of them. Seeing my best friend and my ex-lover happy is really like having the two most important persons in my life won the lottery. I guess, those bad memories in the past are learning experiences for me to be stronger and supportive of myself. I am happy now. Life has to go on, after all. And while I am being embrace by fate, I’ll wait patiently until death knocks at my door.